Relax. How?

Relax.
I already do.
No, you're not. You are stiff.

I got stiffness problem when being massaged. I think I am too alert and sensitive when someone is pressuring me and knowing that sometime soon I am going to get pain.

Likewise in life. Sometimes I hate myself to be watchful that I dont really got to enjoy being hurt like what you will get in a massage treatment.

Today, I am biologically sick, mentally tired. My alert level is at all time low and there I did something stupid. That's is the problem when I am not watchful. So how? thing already said and done.

Haiz... alert not right, not alert also not good.

But,
有些事情只有在自己防备心最弱的时候， 偷偷做， 才会成事。
清醒的我那会不原谅荒唐的自己，毕竟还是我自己。